The 7 Laws of Peaceful Solutions shape the core of reaching win/win results.
The 7 Laws of Peaceful Solutions are based in natural law and are neither created nor made. They are discovered. Once we discover the laws, and understand how they work, we can use them to create any object or effect we choose.
As Galileo said: “All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.”
The 7 Laws of Peaceful Solutions serve as the framework for the dispute resolution process of the Institute for Peaceful Solutions (Institute). I’ll describe the application of the 7 Laws to the case of a client of the Institute, a thirty-nine-year-old man who I’ll call Richard. The father of two children, Richard was separated and in a hostile relationship with his wife. He was deeply troubled that his personal life was unfolding in such an unsatisfying way. Involved in two substantial legal cases, Richard exhausted his savings, and was in severe financial distress. He lost his job and when his wife obtained a restraining order against him for domestic violence action he came to the Institute for assistance. Here’s how we applied the ‘7 Laws’ to the situation.
1. The Law of Unity
Human consciousness connects us all. Discovering that this consciousness exists in all of us allows you to recognize that you are connected to, and part of everything. Physics shows us that the universe is a vibratory field of which we are a part. We direct our lives through our unconscious thoughts and awareness. All human beings have this in common.
In Science of Mind theory there is one First Cause that is the ultimate creator in the universe and into which we can tap in order to be in perfect alignment. It always was, always will be, has no limitation, or form, and transcends time and space. We are connected to and part of this Creative Energy. First Cause can be referred to as God or God-consciousness. We are never separated from this Energy, yet when we experience feelings of loss, fear of death and other limitations we experience separation that often results in feelings and thoughts of guilt, doubt and depression.
There is a stillness that shows us we are one with all creation.
Richard was skeptical. He had little belief in God – a Supreme Being or creator energy. Because he had studied some quantum physics, Richard recognized that science shows that at a fundamental level we are all made of the same molecules and that our differences are related to the frequency of our vibratory or energy fields; that is, we are all connected.
“I accept the theory, but why is this important in this legal battle?” Richard asked. Richard’s coach advised that the law of unity is practical. “Here’s how the law works.”
- First, quiet your mind.
- Second, you’ll notice that feelings like worry, anger and aggression
come from your thoughts.
- As your mind becomes more still you can experience having a bond with others without seeking their approval, and being free from intimidation,
- You can recognize common ground between you and your opponents.
Sounds good, but, how do I quiet my mind?” Richard asked innocently.
“By letting your mind rest – sit in silence for fifteen minutes two times per day and focus on your breathing. We call this quiet time ‘Contemplation.’ I’ll show you how.” Coach responded.
Seeing the Law of Unity in this light, Richard accepted the idea and began his contemplative practice.
2. The Law of Perception
- Perception creates reality.
- Reality is an interpretation.
- Perception is based on past history and belief, and is not the truth.
- Your feelings about a person or situation are ‘your feelings.’ They are not someone else’s fault or the truth.
Richard blamed his wife, Deborah, for the problems in their intense relationship, including her claim of domestic violence. He was angry and defensive.
“I never touched her. She threw books at me. She provoked me, and I scared her, but I never physically touched her.” Richard retorted when confronted with the legal complaint.
“You scared her?” asked the coach.
“Yes, but I didn’t touch her,” defended Richard.
“Did you approach her like you were going to hit her?”
“Well, – yea, but -” snapped Richard.
“That’s assault,” the coach said clearly.
Richard recognized he formed a perception that was not the “truth,” but a viewpoint that affected his version of the heated clashes. He felt attacked, and his perception dictated his reaction.
Richard accepted his perception without making it true for anyone else, including Deborah, and without judging himself. Reluctantly, he admitted that he invariably blamed his opponent for his thorny circumstances.
3. The Law of Cause and Effect
- Thoughts are causes that create effects.
- You can choose the conditions of your life.
- Problems are rooted in your thinking patterns.
- You can align with your purpose and take charge of your life.
- You are imbued with the ability to create your world.
“You reap what you sow,” the coach told Richard.
Antagonistically Richard reported events connected with the litigation with his wife. “There’s no way I’m causing these problems.” he said emphatically.
Deborah’s version of the events was significantly different. We confronted Richard. Yelling in anger, he hung up the phone making rash comments to his coach.
Ultimately, to his credit, he returned and kept working through the process.
“What’s causing your anger?” the coach asked.
“Deborah. She did it, she lied.” Richard stated.
“Were you ever angry before meeting Deborah?” prodded the coach.
“Yea, I’ve been angry before – many times.” Richard responded
“So the common denominator in the anger you’re experiencing is “you.” Your angry thoughts existed in all the situations, right?”
“I never thought of it that way, but I feel angry even during my ‘quiet time’ … when nothing is going on.” Richard reflected.
Richard experienced painful memories and uncomfortable recognitions on his way to awareness of personal responsibility. He felt distraught and miserable. He expressed to his coach the realization that when he felt angry, he also felt sick.
The coach responded, “all thoughts create a result. You can’t stuff a distressing thought and pretend it won’t affect you. You’ll experience the effect of your thoughts.”
Even though the process was halting and awkward Richard kept going.
Richard and his coach laughed at Winston Churchill’s statement: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
4. The Law of Alignment
- Each person knows his purpose and integrity.
- By bringing your hidden motives and agendas to the surface you also learn to uncover the genuine objectives of others. You can make known the unknown
- When you align your conscious and unconscious mind you attract the people, things and events that resonate with your alignment.
- You create a matrix of support to fulfill your destiny and transform your life.
The Law of Alignment operates by following your ‘soul’s path’ and avoiding distractions. It’s your authentic way of living – Your authenticity.
“What’s my soul’s path?” asked Richard.
“Your soul’s path is your personal alignment with your purpose and integrity. Based on your individual talents, it’s your path of destiny, or mission,” the coach explained.
“Does it solve my problems?” asked Richard.
“If you’re following your soul’s path you can reach a successful and peaceful outcome.”
“You know when you’re aligned with your soul’s purpose! You feel joy, time seems non-existent, and actions are easy and effortless.”
“I’ve felt that way before.” Richard smiled.
“The problem occurs when you’re distracted from your soul’s path, and you’re swirling mindlessly in a distraction loop,” the coach continued.
The coach explained that a distraction loop is like a skip in a CD; the same thing keeps replaying itself. This is how Distraction Loops operate:
- We behave like dogs chasing our tails, or hamsters running in a wheel.
- We keep going around and around but never get anywhere.
- Results are the same, one conflict after another.
- Emotions, feelings and thoughts remain the same, and circumstances become more intense and distressing.
- We’re in a downward spiral.
The coach presented Richard with the following list of feelings and thoughts that create a distraction loop.
|__Anger / Irritation||__Intimidation||__Ulterior Motive(s)|
|__Hostility / Violence||__Greed||__Lying to Self / Others|
|__Blame||__Selfishness||__Unwilling to Let Go|
|__Shame||__Control||__Fear of Change|
|__Sadness||__Manipulation||__Tied to Outcome|
|__Frustration||__External Power||__Attached to Habit|
|__Resentment||__Fear (of Lack)||__Worry|
|__Guilt||__Hate||__Doubt / Confusion|
Richard examined each of the eight words in the three distraction loops.
He put a check mark next to those words that described his feelings, emotions and thoughts. He marked eighteen of the twenty-four words and became more distressed.
“I can’t help it if I’m angry. You’d resent it too if you had a domestic violence claim against you.” Richard barked.
“You’re trapped in a distraction loop. Continue to blame, and behave violently, and you’ll continue the downward spiral. Your real enemies are thoughts of anger, blame, and resentment. Don’t make a shift in your attitude, and you’ll get more trouble,” his coach advised.
“I’m under attack. … I’m under attack from my own thoughts!” Richard shook his head in despair. “How do I change this?” he asked plaintively.
“By taking charge of your mind,” his coach responded.
5. The Law of Mental Attention
- What you focus on expands
- Whatever you concentrate on is enhanced.
- Whatever you move your attention from, or ignore, will shrivel, diminish and vanish.
“If you center your thoughts on what you want, rather than what you don’t want, you’ll get what you want,” the coach told Richard. He then asked “which of your thoughts are most distracting?”
“I’d say – anger, blame and worry.” Richard responded.
“You have a choice,” said the coach. Rather than anger, blame and worry, select something else to feel.”
- Peace not anger
- Trust in place of blame
- Freedom instead of worry
Richard posted his choices on the bathroom mirror and said them aloud twice a day, just before his ‘quiet time.’
Old patterns surfaced, and Richard had more painful recollections, but he continued replacing his distracting thoughts.
He put his heart into practicing his new way of thinking. A major shift occurred.
“I’m taking responsibility. I’ve stopped juggling one problem after another and pretending they’re somebody else’s fault. I’ll keep a home for my children, and pay my debts through a payment plan.” Richard declared.
6. The Law of Giving
- Serving others honors both the served and server.
- Focus on giving to others shifts the spotlight from self-interest.
- Concentrating on service opens the flow of communication between giver and receiver.
- Recognizing your talents and gifts, through gratitude, you experience humility, embrace creative sustenance and become a magnet for material prosperity.
- Prosperity follows service.
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. One does not exist without the other and each is equally necessary. Serving others requires that we recognize our talents and gifts, and give to those around us. As we do so, we humble ourselves.
To help Richard set this law in motion; the coach asked him “what can you contribute to your community that is unique?”
Richard had been an athlete before becoming a health services industry executive. He chose to demonstrate his gratitude by coaching underprivileged children.
Within sixty days his life changed dramatically.
He accepted a position with a midsize company at a salary commensurate with his needs. Although details of child support and visitation remained in contention, his divorce was finalized without a trial.
7. The Law of Redemption
- All is forgiven. You are free.
- Redemption is obtained by embracing one’s shadow side and creator self together without judgment.
- By accepting the good, the bad and the ugly while rejoicing in the knowledge that you are uniquely connected, all perceptions and perceived sins of the past are forgiven.
- You can focus on creating your life and living fully.
“If you change your mind, you change your life. You don’t have to punish yourself for the errors of your past,” the coach explained.
Richard had already devoted ample time to feeling unhappy, and was more than willing to not suffer further for the mistakes of his past.
It felt like a true stretch-even with the new understanding of his role in the relationship-but Richard wrote a letter of apology to his wife in which he acknowledged that he had made mistakes for which he was sorry. He avoided mentioning the things that he believed were “wrong” with Deborah. Richard expressed his love for his children, concern for avoiding battles, and interest in a win\win solution.
“I got a surprise call from my lawyer. The support and visitation issues are resolved, and very favorably.” Richard said enthusiastically.
Richard’s case was complete. He fulfilled his mission, a peaceful solution.
Creating Win\Win Solutions
Everyday people make choices that create win\win solutions and rise above the fray of hidden agendas, and the “win-at-all-cost” mentality.
Through cooperation and collaboration deep personal issues can be addressed without destruction. Disputes are solved from where they arise, within the individual. By acting on the cause of the problem rather than the effect or symptoms, resolution can be achieved.
The Schiavo case gives us an example of what we want to avoid in our lives, and is instructive as to why it is important to create personal and legal systems that minimize family acrimony.
Celebrate the positive. Move focus to that which we want in our lives, and away from that which feels sordid and repugnant. Through this intention we can create a meeting of the minds; a powerful meeting that makes a difference.
The following is an affirmative prayer. Say it, feel it, believe it and know that your word is law and imprints your prayers.
- There’s one Power in this Universe. That Power is within me.
- I accept the Power in my life now.
- I know that peaceful solution to conflicts that occur in my life is my birthright.
- I dispel thoughts of war and adversity that may be part of the general fear-based viewpoint set out in the media and through scare tactics.
- I accept that conflicts occur and acknowledge that I am protected from falling victim to a warlike mentality.
- I am safe. I am secure. I am more than my body. I am a conscious soul.
- I experience win\win solutions and outcomes that will not harm me or others.
- I am entitled to peace in my life, and see it wherever I go.
- Thank you for the recognition that I am a peaceful, powerful being, and that my human experience is one of transcendent loyalty to peace.
And so it is.
|1. The Law of Unity||Human consciousness is our tree essence.|
|2. The Law of Perception||Perception creates reality.|
|3. The Law of Cause and Effect||Thoughts are causes that create effects.|
|4. The Law of Alignment||Each soul knows its destiny.|
|5. The Law of Mental Attention||What you focus on expands.|
|6. The Law of Giving||Serving others honors both the served and the server|
|7. The Law of Redemption||All is forgiven, you are free.|